


Fools for Love

by potterwriter



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:21:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23372341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potterwriter/pseuds/potterwriter
Summary: It seems silly that she didn't predict it but as she spins the bottle and it starts to slow and lands dead set on Peter.Lara Jean looks up at Peter for the first time of the game, eyes wide, his expression is unreadable and next to him Greg oohs. Peter sighs as if he saw this coming and shifts into his knees and shuffles over to her. "Can't cheat the bottle right, Covey?"And before she can respond to his nostalgic throwback at their first kiss, his large hand is cupping her cheek, and his lips are on hers.
Relationships: Peter Kavinsky & Lara Jean Song-Covey, Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey
Comments: 38
Kudos: 161





	Fools for Love

* * *

Lara Jean can say pretty confidently she's not one for casual sex, a year mostly single in University had taught her that much. A failed attempt at keeping things casual with a guy from her Intro to American History class only resulted in Lara Jean having hurt feelings and an awkward rest of the semester.

So why is casual sex in a closet with her ex-boyfriend the only thing she can focus on? She's flushed, jittery and her fingers are itching to tangle themselves into his thick messy brown hair.

Peter Kavinsky is barely two feet away and leaning against boxes while looking so casually attractive even in the dark closet it hurts her heart a bit. That and he's dutifully not making eye contact with her. It's a bit of a blow to her ego really.

He blows out a harsh breath, it washing over her and causing a shiver to shoot down her spine. Lara Jean wants to hit herself because all she can think of is sex, especially with Peter, and he seems to want to be anywhere but here.

"Fucking Chris." He mutters.

Fucking Chris indeed, after all, this had been her whole idea.

* * *

After all, it had been Chris's idea for Lara Jean to go to the party with her. It was spring break, and her plans had been baking with Kitty and watching romcoms, not going to Greg's house party that "everyone is going to Lara Jean!"

She only went to those high school parties with Peter anyways.

The problem is _everyone_ likely means Peter Kavinsky and Lara Jean isn't ready to face him just yet. They'd only been broken up for six months, and truthfully she could wait a couple years before she sees him again.

But Chris gets Lucas on her case, and it turns out because of the way their breaks line up it's the only chance Lara Jean will get to see them before they're off to their respective schools so reluctantly she decides to go.

Chris humours her and lets her take her sweet, sweet time getting ready, debating between outfits, and hairstyles- up or down? She's not sure why this seems so momentous, but as she drops her hair out of her scrunchy, all she can hear is "you look pretty with your hair down" and then it's back up almost as an act of rebellion.

It's with the utmost trepidation that Lara Jean follows Chris and Lucas into Greg's incredible house. She must be obvious about it because Chris rolls her eyes and tugs on her arm, pulling her farther into the party, "He's not here yet Lara Jean, you can chill."

"I'm chill."

Chris and Lucas both laugh and try to disguise it as a coughing fit which is kind of them.

"Largie!!" Greg hollers over the loud music and bounds over, lifting and spinning her around like he always liked to do.

Despite herself, Lara Jean laughs and only feels slightly dizzy as he sets her down. "Good to see you too, Greg, thanks for having me!" 

"Of course, anytime Largie. Pete didn't think you'd show." 

"Oh- so he's here already?" 

"Yeah, he helped me set up. Oi Kavinsky!" 

Greg had always lacked some social grace, so it really shouldn't have surprised Lara Jean he would muck this whole incognito thing up for her. 

Peter's curly head shoots up at his name from over by the beer pong table, alerting her to where he was blending in with the mass of people. Besides a genuine look of surprise, his expression is carefully blank and she manages an awkward wave which he returns and then pointedly returns to his beer pong game.

"Alright Largie, I can play the host for a bit, help yourself to a drink and I'll see you later." With a patronizing pat to the top of her head, Greg is off bouncing on to his next guests.

"So that wasn't too bad right?" Chris asked her, and Lucas nodded reassuringly.

"Well, it wasn't the worst." Lara Jean admits, but somehow Peter's aloof coolness was a worse reaction than she could have expected. She's ready to leave this party ASAP.

It's also Chris's idea to play seven minutes in heaven as the party because Arthur Harrington certainly didn't peak in high school and Chris wants to shoot her shot. Lara Jean is sure, as now university students, the idea would be shut down by the masses, but it's taken up with surprising fervour. Maybe they still have to get to outgrow the high school hormones.

What does surprise Lara Jean is that Peter joins the circle, she was forced to, to wingman for both Chris and Lucas. He sits directly across from her, and she avoids looking at him.

Gen joins because of course she does, she may be attending a Christian university, but Lara Jean still considers her a witch.

"Alright!" Chris announces, clapping her hands together, "So spin the bottle and whoever it lands on you go into the closet with, and everyone else plays spin the bottle while you wait."

Lara Jean already knows this is a bad idea, this is a terrible idea, and she should leave. Still, it's almost like watching a car crash, and she can't tear herself away, maybe she's sadistic but she kind of wants to see what happens.

It doesn't help how delicious Peter looks in his black t-shirt, dark and moody. He was susceptible to sulking and when they were dating Lara Jean would bribe him out of it with treats, kisses and cuddles. It was only nearing the end of their relationship that she found sex worked better than all three.

Lara jean shifts a little and tells herself to get those thoughts out of her head. She just can't believe all of these sixteen people are wanting to play. But hey good odds for her to not get landed on.

"Oh! And you get one veto, use at your own risk."

The game starts off uneventful, while Chris may nudge the bottle a little more in Arthur's direction, he doesn't seem upset about it. They disappear into the closet to a chorus of catcalls.

Greg shrugs and spins the bottle landing on Lucas, who blushes. Greg leaps over to him, grabbing his face and smooching him on the lips before releasing him with a flourish, "You're not my type Kramp, but I'll kiss just about anyone."

Lucas laughs and in turn spins the bottle landing on Lara Jean, who is relived, they exchange a quick and dry chaste peck.

It seems silly that she didn't predict it but as she spins the bottle and it starts to slow and lands dead set on Peter.

Lara Jean looks up at Peter for the first time of the game, eyes wide, his expression is unreadable and next to him Greg oohs. Peter sighs as if he saw this coming and shifts into his knees and shuffles over to her. "Can't cheat the bottle right, Covey?"

And before she can respond to his nostalgic throwback at their first kiss, his large hand is cupping her cheek, and his lips are on hers.

It only lasts for a few seconds, chaste and innocent before he's leaning away and returning to his seat. All the while, avoiding eye contact with her. He seems almost angry with her, and she's not quite sure what to do about it.

Lara Jean knows her cheeks are aflame, because of the kiss and because her thoughts are anything but chaste and innocent.

Thankfully, the timer goes off, and Chris emerges triumphant from the closet with a very ruffled Arthur in tow before she takes her place next to Lara Jean.

"Alright, everyone! Finish your drinks!"

Lara jean finishes the rest of her first beer in one go, thankful to have something to do with herself.

"Whose turn is it?"

Peter offers a two-finger salute, before leaning over and spinning the bottle, where it lands much to Lara Jean's dismay, on Gen.

Gen's smug expression does nothing to temper Lara jeans misgivings, but she reminds herself that she's not allowed to have those feelings anymore. That ended six months ago when she and Peter broke up.

Gen is almost out of her seat, ready to head to the closet when Peter lets out a breath, "Veto."

An awkward silence settles over the group, Lara jean realizes she's holding her breath and lets it out hoping she doesn't sound too relieved.

Peter scrubs a face over his hand, and for the first time, makes eye contact with Lara Jean, expression unreadable before turning to his ex-ex girlfriend, "Sorry Gen."

"Whatever." Gen lets out a huff attempting to appear unbothered with a roll of her eyes.

There is a sticky silence, and Chris, the party starter attempts to break it, "Well spin it again, Kavinsky."

Peter looks like he wants to do anything else. Still, he begins to reach for the bottle "Fine, but after this, I'm done."

"Whatever you want dude just spin the bottle," Chris says with a roll of her eyes. 

Peter spins it with such frustration that makes it turn quickly, and it seems to take ages to finally slow, only for it to stop, dead centre without question on Lara Jean.

Lara jean follows Peter numbly into the closet, skin tingling with awkwardness and... anticipation? What the hell is wrong with her. He very clearly wants nothing to do with her. He pulls the door shut and leans as far away from her as possible against the wall and closes his eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

"Fucking Chris."

She agrees but still feels the need to defend her best friend, it's almost a bratty need, to start an argument. Anything to get a reaction out of Peter besides weary acceptance.

"You didn't have to play."

Peter opens his eyes finally staring at her, and even in the darkness, she feels exposed under his gaze. It makes her skin tingle, and not in an unpleasant way. She always appreciated being the centre of his attention. Clearly, her body still likes it.

"Neither did you."

"I was being a good friend to Lucas and Chris."

"Right." He scoffs, finally blinking and looking away from her.

"Well, lucky for you, we only have six and a half more minutes to go." She says, a fair amount of ice in her tone, as she glances down at her watch. "Should have saved your veto if you couldn't stand to be in a closet with me for seven minutes."

"You could have used yours."

There's a heavy shocked silence between them, Lara Jean didn't even think of using hers, and she's stuck between being embarrassed and totally transparent.

"Are you upset I didn't?" Lara jean manages, and somehow it comes out raspy and far more provocative then she means. She hopes for the sake of her dignity, he misses it.

It's hard to tell in the dark closet, but he shifts, and she can feel him looking at her.

"I don't know."

He shifts again, this time his hand brushes her arm, and she's so hard up the slightest touch causes her to flinch away from him in surprise.

There's no mistaking the hurt in his face this time, she wants to explain, but a yell through the door causes her to jump.

"Six minutes to go love birds!"

"God sorry, I didn't realize you were that uncomfortable around me."

He sounds hurt, and petulant but still guilty and Lara Jean wants to explain that in fact, it's the opposite, she's desperate for him to touch her more.

"That's not it, Peter."

The crack of light through the door must catch her desperate lust-filled expression because his eyes darken and his voice is so rough she has to take a deep breath and rub her thighs together.

"Oh."

"Ya-sorry- this is so embarr-"

Her stumbled apology is broken by Peter pressing her roughly against the wall, pinning her with his hips and lips rough on hers. Lara Jean meets with him equal fervour, hands winding in his hair like she has been desperate to do minutes earlier. 

"This okay?" Peter asks, kissing his way down her neck. 

" _Yes_." 

There's no cautious exploration or tentative touches, they've done this before, many times and it feels so damn good doing it again. The kisses are rough and unyielding, and she's desperately moving against him moans escaping from her mouth, rutting against his thigh and abandoning all attempts at aloofness. His hands are rough on her hips and one shifts to grab her ass and pull her even closer.

Peter breaks away, looking wholly wrecked and she's so worried he's going to stop, she surges forward again, and he meets her, "This is a bad idea."

  
"Probably" Lara Jean breathes, but she can't stop, her lips finding Peter's neck and that spot that always gets him, she's answered with a moan from him that goes straight to between her legs.

"Think I can get you off before they open the door?" Peter asks, and she thinks she almost cums on the spot. 

"I think it's worth a try."

He laughs, and before she knows it and much to her delighted surprise, he's on his knees in front of her, reaching up her skirt and placing a kiss just above her knee sock.

"This okay Covey?"

"Yes. God, please, yes." She tosses her head back, it thudding lightly against the closet wall. 

"Thank god, I've been thinking about this all night."

With that statement, and with his talented tongue and fingers and whispered praise throughout she comes in less than three minutes. Quick and as silent as possible, weak legs supported by Peter's strong hands.

She pulls him up roughly by the hair, sticking her tongue, tasting herself and answering his moan with her own. "I want you so badly, Covey." 

Peter is grinding into her now, and she's just reaching for his fly when Chris's voice brings her back down to earth.

"Only one minute left! Don't worry Lara Jean, we'll have you out of there soon enough!." Chris calls out. 

They jump away from each other, and the cloud is effectively ruined. Peter hastily wipes a hand across his mouth, and Lara Jean puts her hair back into her signature pony.

At the beeping of the alarm, she goes to exit, trying to compose herself and ready to pretend her ex-boyfriend didn't go down on her in a closet while her old high school classmates sat just outside. Peter grabs her wrist before she exits, eyes searching hers, "We okay, Covey?"

"Y-ya."

They exit the closet, and all their old classmates eye them eagerly, and Lara Jean isn't sure what they'll deduce, but she knows she's bright red. She takes a chance to peak back at Peter, and he seems unaffected, looking bored and annoyed as before, but the slight flush on his cheeks knows he's not as cool as he seems.

"Alright, I'm out, I'm going to get another drink," Peter announces and with that turns on his heel leaving the game.

"Aw Peter, Lara Jean really turned you off that much hey?" Simpers Gen and Lara Jean feels vindicated watching as he shifts uncomfortably and knowing that's the opposite of his problem. 

Does he know she'll follow him? She can't just leave it like this can she? They should talk, and they should- well as enjoyable as the first orgasm was she wants another. She's greedy like that.

She skips into the kitchen, empty except for Peter as everyone else decided to watch the spectacle of spin the bottle. Lara Jean leans against the archway and watches him pour a drink, "Want to make another bad decision?"

He turns to her, sipping his kombucha (somethings don't change) and offers a rueful grin, and it makes her heart skip a beat and does other things to her whole body, "What did you have in mind?"

"I have the house to myself tonight, Kitty's at a sleepover and Dad has an overnight at the hospital."

"Covey..."

"I also have white chocolate macadamia cookies, and we can just talk we don't have to- do anything. We did agree to talk in person, you know after-"

Does she sound desperate? She doesn't care; she's not ready to say goodbye to him tonight.

  
"Okay." Peter nods, cutting off her rambling. 

"Okay." 

"I can drive Covey, I avoided beers tonight. Ready?"

She nods quickly and grabs her jacket following him outside. 

"Okay great. I only had one." She wants to be clear she isn't drunk, and she f

"Cool, and Covey?"

"Mmm? She hums as she lifts herself into the Jeep, just like old times.

"I want to go down on you at least once more tonight."

"Oh...good then."

"Good." He smirks at her and starts the ignition, pulling out of the driveway. 

Lara Jean knows if they talk, they probably won't have sex, and it's selfish and stupid and self-sabotaging. Still, she wants him, in her childhood bedroom before all the complications get in the way.

The car ride is silent and blissfully short. Peter follows closely behind her, heat radiating off him warming her back as she unlocks the dark house.

He seems to have the same thought, as soon as they're inside he has her pressed up against the wall with his mouth on hers. 

They stumble up the stairs, laughing and he strips off her shirt and one sock by the time they get to her bedroom. They tumble into the bed together, Peter chuckling as she squirms underneath him. Running a large hand through her hair, he gently pulls the scrunchy out and pulls it on to his wrist. 

Peter makes good on his promise and makes her come once more with his head between her legs before finally sliding into her, rolling so Lara Jean is perched on top of him.

"This is my favourite view." His grin is cheeky but sincere as he anchors her hips with one large hand, the other exploring the rest of her body sliding up to cup her breast. "I missed this view."

Lara Jean doesn't feel self-conscious, in fact she feels sexy and powerful and so so turned on. She can only respond with a sigh and a messy rough kiss before she starts to move.

After they both finish, breathlessly moaning each other's names, Lara Jean curls up against Peter, an arm across his stomach. He has an equally tight grip on her pulling her as close to him as possible as if he doesn't want to let her go. It seems they're both waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It's easy in the afterglow of sex, three orgasms and in the darkness of her room to pretend it's all going to work out.

"I miss you." Peter murmurs into her neck, his hand curling and resting on her hip.

For some reason, tears spring up, and she fights to level her voice.

"God, I miss you too." She tilts his head up away from her neck to take in his dark, serious, sad eyes, and it's all she can do to kiss him and not stop.

It's in between slow, languid kisses, Lara Jean moving her mouth to his neck when he says it.

"I'm still so in love with you."

"Peter." She manages breathlessly, and this time tears really do start to fall. He nods then kisses her soundly and gently untangles himself from the sheets and grabs his boxers.

They dress slowly in the darkness, prolonging the closeness between them, Lara Jean feels as if when they leave the room whatever this is will shatter.

Peter grabs her arm and gently pulls her into him, tilting her head up and placing a warm tender kiss to her lips. His arms wrapped around her so tightly there is no space between them.

Eventually, they break apart, sharing breath, and he leans his forehead against hers, his eyes closed, she closes her own. She lets herself have this moment with him, willing the tears to stay dormant. She's pretty sure he's saying goodbye.

Finally, he moves, and she releases him, "You promised me white chocolate chip cookies if I remember correctly, Covey."

"I did."

So they make their way to the kitchen, Lara Jean picking up her clothes with a flush high on her cheeks as they go. She sneaks a peek at Peter, and there's a slight grin on his face.

He sits at the counter, and she busies herself, getting the cookies on a plate and two glasses of water and finally sits across from him.

"Nothing's changed has it?" She murmurs.

He looks up at her under his curls, his expression sad but resigned, "My feelings for you haven't." 

"Mine haven't either, but God Peter it wasn't working, and I-we tried so hard to make it happen, and it just... didn't." Lara Jean finally succumbs to her tears, and it feels like her heart is breaking all over again. He hurries towards her where she sits, kneeling and placing his hands on her thighs, and one reaches for the tears spilling unrestrained down her cheeks. 

"We'll do better this time Lara Jean! I'll be better about calling, and I'll visit more. I'll look into transferring-" Peter starts, attempting to convince the both of them. 

Lara Jean sniffs, and she's finally able to get better control of her tears, "Peter. You don't want to transfer."

His face drops, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, and he rocks back on his heels, but his large steady hands remain on her thighs, helping to ground her despite everything. "No, I don't. And neither do you."

"I don't." Lara Jean admits, choking up again and the tears pour out once more. "I think I'll always love you, Peter."

Peter finally stands, his hands reaching for her cheeks and gently wiping away the fresh tears before giving her a final chaste kiss, "And I'll always love you, Lara Jean."

He turns away from her, grabbing a cookie as he does, saluting her with it, "One for the road."

She lets out a watery laugh, and he offers her a sad smile as he shrugs on his coat.

Peter is almost out the door before he turns, and gives Lara Jean a long look, drinking her in as she sits at the counter watching him. He sighs and puts his hands in his pockets, an action that makes him look like the boy she remembers first falling in love with, "I played tonight because you were playing."

"What?"

He shrugs, "I played spin the bottle tonight because you were playing, I wanted any chance I could get to kiss you one last time."

"Oh Peter."

With one last look and what looked like with tremendous effort, Peter turned and walked out the door. A minute or two later she heard his jeep engine start up and drive away.

Lara Jean doesn't know why she's trying to hold it all in, so she returns to her bedroom and flops down into the bed that still smells like Peter and bursts into tears once again.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! I have at least the next two chapters done, I'll just need to edit them! xx


End file.
